By Humberto Fortuna MA, MS
Losing your sense of self is when you totally detach yourself from your emotions and you are no longer you, and you feel you need someone all the time and cannot live without that person. In your dependency, you believe that you have to do whatever it takes to secure their love and support for the long run.
You will begin modifying your habits, your interests, your likes and dislikes, as well as your behaviors, until they become similar to your partners.
Unfortunately, I have been there and done this. I changed my diet from a regular one to a vegan diet and even tried to like his death metal music, or noise music. I was so dependent and even though I was doing everything for him, I could not make him happy enough.
The most important thing is that you need to realize that as much as you are or were dependent on your partner, you were just doing it for their benefit and creating a toxic situation. At this moment, you are not taking YOUR emotions, feelings, or needs into consideration at all. As hard as it is to see it, it is the truth! The toxicity was generated by not creating boundaries in the first place. It is important to mention that these toxic and manipulative situations do not just happen in abusive relationships. A toxic situation does not automatically mean abuse.
You may be unconsciously changing yourself to try to match up to your partner’s profile. Be aware!
If you take something clear out of this section of the book, it is to know that you cannot ‘lose yourself,’ and you need to be who you really are in the present!
To be able to support who you are, you need to learn how to share things with your partner, family, and friends. You also need to realize how important it is to spend time apart and maintain your own autonomy, likes, and dislikes as you see and feel them for yourself.
Humberto Fortuna, MA, MS, was born in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1968 where he earned his first Master of Arts degree at age 20. He came to the US in 1989 where he began his career in the Health Care field in South Florida. He specialized in Social Services for the geriatric population, concentrating in Alzheimer's and related Dementias. He received his second Master's Degree in Health Care Administration with concentration in Long Term Care from Lynn University, Florida, in 1998. He received a Post Graduate Certificate in Aging Studies in 1999. In the same year, as a Serial Entrepreneur, he created his own company; Placement Counselors Corporation. He also created Scoop for Seniors Publishing, Papinos LLC, and is publisher of 55+ Magazine, currently available in the SE region of Florida for the past 10 yrs. He currently has his own private practice as a Geriatric Specialist and won the Caregivers award for a book he co-wrote with Cindy VanDusen. He became a Certified Angel Healer Practitioner, Certified Energy Healer Practitioner, and a Certified Past Life Regressions and Akashic Records Practitioner. He also became a Certified Sound Healer and Reiki Master among other modalities. He is fusing his knowledge and experience with all these new techniques and philosophies to further his practice as an Energy Healer while dedicating his time to educating and promoting Alternative and Complementary Medicine with a Clinical Mind. Humberto 's last book THE BOSS from WITHIN and continues to educate through workshops and seminars.
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